The brave

There they are- she stops in the gravel road to look down at the plants showing brave first leaves through the frosty ground. She thinks perhaps she should trust them and believe that Spring is not far away- believe that it is safe to put out leaves and try again. But, she remembers those years when the weather was cruel and froze those first brave leaves and infant flower buds. Even as a child, she had looked at the lilac buds encased in glassy ice and felt a deep sadness- a soul sadness. It was like a promise broken- a friend who laughs at you behind your back- the sweet smell of lilac would not fill the breeze that year.

She wonders, is it worth it? Why do they start so soon? Why do we try again for love and friendship when our hearts have been broken?

The birds are brave this morning too, singing and flitting about the hedges. She thinks of another plant and wonders- are they up yet? As she walks closer, she can only see the dead stalks. Standing right beside the brown stalks she can not see them. But, as she gets down upon her knees, there almost as dark as the dark earth, are the first shoots of the nettles. Deep, deep green- almost black-fuzzy but not yet stinging. Nettles. She touches one fondly with her finger tip. The nettles mean something deep and old to her. First, she loves them because they were here- they and the Salmon Berries came by themselves and set up house in a corner of the garden (the unlikely partners growing tall mixed together and supporting each other). Second, because their deep greenness holds so much (imagine if your pantry was not continuously replenished by the store- imagine how good those fresh greens would look and taste after the winter). Third, because they remind her that not all things that sting should be avoided. She rises and feels strong. It's all worth it.

Imbolc beckons...

Bride is said to tend the triple fires of smithcraft (physical fire), healing (the fire of life within), and poetry (the fire of the spirit). Daughter, honor these fires of yours! A fire must be tended!

The physical fire is tended by moving your body. Have you felt the surge of heat after you really move your body? Run, walk,swim, ride a bike. Use it, feel it, understand it. This fire can be honored by feeding your body wholesome foods- moderation for the rest.

The fire of life within is for you and for others- it offers love and healing. This fire is stronger than you imagine within you. Try- put forth this warmth to your family, to the random stranger who could use a smile. You might find that when you share this warmth, the fire is fed.

The fire of spirit is a fickle, needy fire. You must lovingly tend it, try to understand it, look deep into it's flames to find answers. Sing, play music, write, copy a poem into a journal or read it aloud- find yourself in the frost decorating a leaf. You must find a moment of quiet- you must move just a step beyond yourself and daily chores of your life. You can do it. The return of this flame is worth it- it will speak to you of eternity.

Quotes to live by from Rainer Maria Rilke:

All emotions are pure which gather you and lift you up; that emotion is impure which seizes only one side of your being and so distorts you.

Believe that with your feelings and your work you are taking part in the greatest; the more strongly you cultivate this belief, the more will reality and the world go forth from it.
Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers.

A Winter Eden by Robert Frost

A winter garden in an alder swamp,
Where conies now come out to sun and romp,
As near a paradise as it can be
And not melt snow or start a dormant tree.

It lifts existence on a plane of snow
One level higher than the earth below,
One level nearer heaven overhead,
And last year's berries shining scarlet red.

It lifts a gaunt luxuriating beast
Where he can stretch and hold his highest feat
On some wild apple tree's young tender bark,
What well may prove the year's high girdle mark.

So near to paradise all pairing ends:
Here loveless birds now flock as winter friends,
Content with bud-inspecting. They presume
To say which buds are leaf and which are bloom.

A feather-hammer gives a double knock.
This Eden day is done at two o'clock.
An hour of winter day might seem too short
To make it worth life's while to wake and sport.

A Winter Solstice Meditation

(**If you enjoy music during meditation, I recommend you press the "Launch Pandora" button on the right. I have been enjoying a station I created by entering the term "Anonymous Four", but you may listen to what calls to you.**)

A Winter Solstice Meditation

This is a time for you. Find a comfortable, warm place to get settled. Take a long breath starting in your nose and drawing your breath deep, filling your stomach. Breath out slowly, releasing your breath from your stomach than your chest , throat and finally out of your mouth. Do this several times until you feel your muscles relax.

Sense your body- recognize that you are safe and comfortable. You are tethered to the Earth by a golden rope extending from the base of your spine to the heart of the Earth. Feel the golden, warm connection. This golden rope does not hinder you in any way. This golden rope keeps you connected and safe.

Once you are relaxed and connected, we will begin our travels. We go a long way to a mountain covered with snow. The tall evergreens hang with snow. There is no moon. There walking up the dark mountainside is a group of people walking slowly with faint, flickering light coming from the lanterns they carry. You are one of them or you are only an observer. As you get closer, you see that the group is lead by a woman. Her long dark hair falls down her back and is dusted with snow. All are well clothed for their trek- long thick coats embroidered with rich jewel colored thread., rich, deep boots on their feet and thick gloves of purple and amber and garnet on their hands. By the pace of their walk, they know where they are going and fully realize the work before them as the path is steep. The woman that is the leader knows that she is to meet with a messenger- what will be this messenger? And what will the message be? There is no giving into fear. The path leads us onward, forward, to where we need to be.

Above the snow covered trees, the stars glint in the black sky. There are more stars that you have ever seen. The pure coldness of the air and the vast sparkle of the stars take your breath away. Still you move on. After some time, you and the group come to a clearing. In the dim light a vague shape is visible. The group stops but the leader walks slowly forward. As she draws closer, she sees it is a fox dragging something along the ground. She moves forward- the fox snarls- but still she moves slowly toward it. Her message. It is the antlers and top of the skull of a young buck. It is for you- she knows it deep within her- but she must pay the messenger. She tosses the fox a handful of dried meat she had brought in her pocket. Silently, the fox releases the antlers, takes the meat and is gone like a sigh. She picks up the antlers and returns to the group. Another sits the antlers upon her head and secures them with delicately woven nettle ropes. The woman pauses a moment to look at the group and then turns to continue across the clearing and up over the final ridge.

As the expanse of the vast U-shaped valley spread before her, her heart fills with a deep love and wonder. She stands tall- the antlers drawing her up straight. Just vaguely in the far east, the sky lightens and changes. Others in the group prepare the fire with the wood they have carried on their backs. Silently, the woman stands by the cliff edge looking out at what she can not yet see, but that which she knows with all her being. She takes a deep, even, slow breath of the clear cold air. She is filled with the cold sure air. It tells her that all she is to be- all that she wants is within her. Her power spreads from the antlers through the top of her head, down her spine and fills her to her toes. She gives them the signal to light the fire which blazes up behind her.

The sun is rising! The sun returns! She raises her arms high in greeting. Raise your arms in greeting! Feel your power flush within you. You stand tall- the silhouette of a vibrant antlered Aruduinna against the gold of the rising snow. Now- dance and feel the joy!

As we slowly return along our golden rope, you carry with you the joy and the strength. They will be within you always- may they fill your soul.

Blessed Winter Solstice.

~Salvia

December 19, 2008

P.S. I have been thinking of these images for many nights as I lay going to sleep in my cozy bed. Only last night did the image of the fox and the antlers come to me. This morning, as I saw the image of the woman with antlers in my mind, I realized I have been carrying an image from a good friend's creation with in me. Thank, my dear friend Greenlee, for inspiring me with your beautiful Arduinna!!

love poem

Diana! Lucina! Selene!
You take my hand and begin the joyous dance.
You are my mother, my daughter, my lover.
You are dressed in the a dress the color
of sparkle of ocean spray
of tea in a silver spoon
of the orange glow of our hearts.
Let us dance!
Let us sing on this night of your fullness.
Diana! Lucina! Selene!

Discipline

How many blessings stream to you, my daughter? How many joys at this moment run through your fingers? You must breath and feel and understand.

But, how? How am I to feel anything beyond this feeling of rushing to oblivion?

Daughter! Enough! Why do you turn away from your power? You know that you are the sky and the sea and yet you act like you are nothing more than your body? You have the power of the earth at your feet, why do you fool yourself into believing less? Should you choose, you can run numbly to oblivion- so many do. But how can you allow that when you have worked so hard to see your power- your connection.

Release yourself from your own chains. Stand and allow yourself to feel the wind and the rain and the sunshine. You are pain. You are love. You are death. You are ecstasy.